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Polleece Roadblock |
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Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a
couple of beers. The passenger, Bubba, said "Lookey thar up ahead, Earl,
it's a polleece roadblock!! We're gonna get busted f...
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Unfaithful Wives |
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Paddy and his two friends are talking at a bar.
His first friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our b...
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Uglies in Heaven |
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Three men were waiting at Heaven's Gate. St. Peter says, "OK, guys, pretty much anything goes up here, but whatever you do, never lie, or you will spend the rest of eternity with the ugliest women ...
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Noah's Ark: 2002 |
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(It is the year 2002, and Noah lives in the United States)
The Lord speaks to Noah and says: "In one year I am going to make it rain and cover the whole earth with water until all is destroyed....
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Little Gregory's Wish |
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Little Gregory wakes up in the middle of the night feeling alone and
scared. He goes into his mother's room for comfort and he sees his mom
standing naked in front of the mirror. She is rubbing...
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Registering for Wedding Presents |
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Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in....
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Redneck Fishing |
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Two rednecks had just gone fishing and brought in the largest amount of fish they had ever seen. One said to the other, "Did you mark the place where the fishing was so good?"
"Yes, I put an X on...
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A Rude Drunk |
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Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers
up to them, and points at the guy in the middle, shouting, "Your
mom's the best sex in town!"
Everyone expects a fight, but ...
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A Thought |
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1. Don`t sweat the petty things and Don`t pet the sweaty things.
2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
3. If man evolved from apes why do we still have apes?
4. Santa is very...
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Two Factories |
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There were two factories in New York City. One of them made maternity frocks for expectant mothers, so they were called the "Mothers Frockers."
The factory across the street made corks for wine...
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Husband Store |
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A brand new store has just opened in London that sells Husbands. When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance:-
“You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! Th...
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Loser Joke |
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Ok, well there's a swat team hiring people.. and the people they hired have to go through a certain test. The swat team says to the men "If your going to be a SWAT member, you have to take risks an...
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Lipstick |
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According to a news report, a certain private school in Victoria, BC recently was faced with a unique problem.
A number of grade 12 girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in t...
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The bride tells her husband |
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The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know
anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"
"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private pl...
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Final Exam |
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The blonde reported for her university final examination which consists
of
"yes/no" type questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall,
stares at the question paper for five minutes, ...
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rules are rules |
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A little boy comes down for breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he has done his chores.
"Not yet," said the little boy.
His mother tells him no breakfast until he does hi...
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