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God does not hate Gay People
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A million then brazillion
The Secretary of Defense is briefing President Bush on Iraq. "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed." "Oh no!" exclaims the president, "That's terrible!" His staff is stunned at this un...
Kids political opinion
There's a teacher in a small Texas town. She asks her class how many of them are Bush supporters. Not really knowing what a Bush supporter is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kid...
Only in America
1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. 2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. 3. Only in America......d...
Math test for lawyers
A lawyer, an engineer and a mathematician were called in for a test. The engineer went in first and was asked, ''''What is 2+2?'''' The engineer thought awhile and finally answered, ''''4.'''' ...

Random Jokes
3 Nuns
Three nuns die and go to heaven where they are met by St Peter at the pearly gates. St Pete says "Ladies, you all led such wonderful lives, that I'm granting you six months to go back to Earth and ...
Cats & God
Whoever said the Creator doesn't have a sense of humor? Dwight Nelson recently told a true story about the pastor of his church. He had a kitten that climbed up a tree in his backyard and t...
Materialistic lawyers
A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck passed too close and tore off the door on the driver's...
Penny Pincher
An old penny pincher had no friends. Just before he died he asked his doctor, lawyer, and pastor to gather around him at bedside. "I have always heard that you can't take it with you. But I want ...
Desert Punishment
A judge was punishing three men because they had committed a crime. Their sentence was a few years in the desert. He said that they could each take one thing with them. The first guy decides to...
The guilty judge
A red-faced judge convened court after a long lunch. The first case involved a man charged with drunk driving who claimed it simply wasn't true. "I'm as sober as you are, your honor," the man claim...
Bad Parrot
David received a parrot for his birthday. This parrot was fully-grown with a bad attitude and terrible vocabulary. Every other word was an expletive. Those that weren't expletives were, to sa...
Dog named Sex
Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told t...
Gates Of Hell
Bill Gates croaked it and met his maker, and God said, "Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this one. I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or to Hell. After all, you helped society enormously ...
Road Rage
A blonde had just gotten a new sports car and was out for a drive when she accidentally cut off a truck driver. He motioned for her to pull over. When she did, he got out of his truck and pulled a ...
Body Mechanics
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, "it was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints." Another said, "...
Firm Up
One morning while making breakfast, a man walked up to his wife and pinched her on her butt and said, "You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle." While this was on the...
Gas Problem
There was once a very prim and proper older lady who had a problem with passing gas. Since she came from a generation when people didn't even talk about this kind of problem it took a long time for...
One Condition
On One Condition A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome, extremely sexy young man entered. He was so striki...
Suicide Saved!
The pastor's church is called Almighty God Tabernacle. On a Saturday night several weeks ago, this pastor was working late, and decided to call his wife before he left for home. It was about ...
Things not to say to a cop when you're pulled over...
I only had one officer Mr. Keg.. Back off Barney, I've got a piece. Want to race to the station, Sparky? I know I was weaving, but I can't find the Honeycomb Hideout! On the way to the ...