|
3 Nuns |
|
Three nuns die and go to heaven where they are met by St Peter at the pearly gates. St Pete says "Ladies, you all led such wonderful lives, that I'm granting you six months to go back to Earth and ...
|
|
|
Cats & God |
|
Whoever said the Creator doesn't have a sense of humor?
Dwight Nelson recently told a true story about the pastor of his church.
He had a kitten that climbed up a tree in his
backyard and t...
|
|
|
Materialistic lawyers |
|
A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues.
As he got out, a truck passed too close and tore off the door on the driver's...
|
|
|
Penny Pincher |
|
An old penny pincher had no friends. Just before he died he asked his doctor, lawyer, and pastor to gather around him at bedside.
"I have always heard that you can't take it with you. But I want ...
|
|
|
Desert Punishment |
|
A judge was punishing three men because they had committed a crime. Their sentence was a few years in the desert. He said that they could each take one thing with them.
The first guy decides to...
|
|
|
The guilty judge |
|
A red-faced judge convened court after a long lunch. The first case involved a man charged with drunk driving who claimed it simply wasn't true. "I'm as sober as you are, your honor," the man claim...
|
|
|
Bad Parrot |
|
David received a parrot for his birthday. This parrot was
fully-grown with a bad attitude and terrible vocabulary. Every
other word was an expletive. Those that weren't expletives were,
to sa...
|
|
|
Dog named Sex |
|
Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot".
I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told t...
|
|
|
Gates Of Hell |
|
Bill Gates croaked it and met his maker, and God said, "Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this one. I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or to Hell. After all, you helped society enormously ...
|
|
|
Road Rage |
|
A blonde had just gotten a new sports car and was out for a drive when she accidentally cut off a truck driver. He motioned for her to pull over. When she did, he got out of his truck and pulled a ...
|
|
|
Body Mechanics |
|
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body.
One said, "it was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."
Another said, "...
|
|
|
Firm Up |
|
One morning while making breakfast, a man walked up to his wife
and pinched her on her butt and said, "You know if you firmed
this up we could get rid of your girdle."
While this was on the...
|
|
|
Gas Problem |
|
There was once a very prim and proper older lady who had a problem with passing gas. Since she came from a generation when people didn't even talk about this kind of problem it took a long time for...
|
|
|
One Condition |
|
On One Condition
A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work
cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally
tall, handsome, extremely sexy young man entered.
He was so striki...
|
|
|
Suicide Saved! |
|
The pastor's church is called Almighty God Tabernacle.
On a Saturday night several weeks ago, this pastor was working late, and
decided to call his wife before he left for home.
It was about ...
|
|
|
